I can officially apply for AARP benefits. 😆
The country and the world are still battling the coronavirus. 😨
I'll probably be working from home until August. 😎
I was voted into a temporary position as the Precinct 1 rep for the Salt Lake City School District Board of Education. 😲
My birthday celebration was exactly what I wanted. Quality time with my girls, food from Myung Ga (sooooo yummy), seeing my family and dropping off Mother's Day gifts. 😍
Extra bonuses included presents I wasn't expecting from loved ones and a drive-by birthday celebration from my mom, siblings, in-laws, niece, and nephews. We really miss each other. 😢
Times are different now. Different doesn't always mean bad. We appreciate our loved ones more. We have time to work on home projects. We are learning and growing. Even though the future is still fuzzy with no timeline of when things will go back to "normal," we're taking advantage of being together. 💚
People around the world are stepping up and speaking out about the inequality marginalized communities have been facing for so many years, especially our black communities. In the United States, folks are voting to have their voices heard in people who can take that voice all the way to Washington D.C. Folks are tired of having their narratives dictated to them and are now pushing back. It is the hope that not only will conversations and educating ourselves continue, but true action and policy change will take place. ❤
I wonder what my guardian angel is doing. I'm pretty sure she's laughing her butt off, drunk most of the time, and saying to the other guardian angels, "Dude, watch this," before sprinkling some more craziness into my life. 😇🍷
I am halfway through my 50th year and so far it's been mostly 💩 storms. I've watched more tv and netflix than I have the past few years. Not sure how I feel about that. How is it possible to need a vacation when you already work from home? And you can't go anywhere? Cuz coronavirus and all. Heavy sigh... stay safe, ya'll. 😩
Wednesday, June 24, 2020
Friday, March 27, 2020
A Sister and Her Brothers
The bond between a sister and her brothers is strong. And sacred. Whether that brother shares the same parents or the same extended bloodline, the connection is all the same. The brothers are the ones who look out for her, protect her, guide her, support her, cherish her. When her parents have left this world leaving her alone, the brothers carry the responsibility to make sure she's okay for the rest of their lives. It is a burden the brothers should never take lightly. Nor should they ever forget.
Her mother already gone
She then lost her father
Unexpectedly
Crying, she said she was all alone
But she's not
And we told her she's not
All alone
Look around you
Her brothers declared
You are not alone
We are here
Always
Whatever you need
Whenever you need
Call
We are here
You are not alone.
Monday, March 23, 2020
What I Meant Was
On March 2nd, I wrote about how my 50th year was beginning to fizzle. Things were just blah and nothing exciting was going on. When I said the calm before the party storm, I was thinking something WAY different than what happened after I wrote those words. My 50th year is off to a literally shaky start. Let's review some moments since my last blog entry, shall we? And if my words brought on the craziness, my bad.
The world has been shut down by the COVID-19 pandemic. Today begins week two of working from home as we have been told to shelter in place and self quarantine, I was thinking how awesome it has been to spend more time with my girls. We're all stuck at home, working and getting back to schoolwork. When the weather is nice, we've been going out for lunch time walks with the doggos. We've been cooking dinner and don't have to worry about commuting. We worked out adding an extra routine thinking we're coming out of this with our bikini bods ready! Weeknights we eat dinner together then played boardgames. Some games I haven't played in years! It reminds me of growing up in Nu'uuli and on stormy days we would play board games or read. I feel as if the world is slowing us down. Making us see what we've been missing.
Then, that same world gave us a rude awakening last Tuesday morning in Utah with a 5.7 magnitude earthquake. It was truly a wake up call as we were all sleeping. For folks in California and other places in the world where earthquakes are common, you can laugh all you want. It really freaked us out. I haven't felt anything that strong for as long as I can remember. We've been experiencing after shocks every day, the heavier ones always seem to happen when I'm trying to take a nap. It's nerve wracking. All you can do is prepare and have a plan. And pray. Oh yes. That's what I've been doing all week. Cuz I'm scared. I have to stay strong for my girls, but I'm struggling with that. All I want to do is find a corner and cry.
This is definitely a 50th year to remember! I thought being quarantined at home, I could maybe get some writing done. Right now that's not happening. My brain is too rattled and sleep deprived to even think about anything else except taking a nap. Here's to everyone staying safe and healthy! Please don't hoard toilet paper, wash your hands, air and virtually hug your people. Those useless physical things you're worried about? Those are nothing compared to the safety and well-being of your family. Reset your priorities. What can be accomplished during this time of lock down? The plan is to organize our home, our thoughts, our mindset. When we come out of this craziness, we'll know what is important and what's not. Take this time to enjoy each other's company. Get to know your family and friends. As an introvert, I prefer contact like commenting on social media or messaging people or sending texts. I'm not much of a talker. Anyway you feel is comfortable for you to say hello and have contact, do it. Within the confines of social distancing, of course. Be safe, ya'll. Stay healthy. Be kind. It's not that difficult. And for goodness sake, stop hoarding, especially toilet paper. Cheers to almost 50 years! One and a half months and counting!
The world has been shut down by the COVID-19 pandemic. Today begins week two of working from home as we have been told to shelter in place and self quarantine, I was thinking how awesome it has been to spend more time with my girls. We're all stuck at home, working and getting back to schoolwork. When the weather is nice, we've been going out for lunch time walks with the doggos. We've been cooking dinner and don't have to worry about commuting. We worked out adding an extra routine thinking we're coming out of this with our bikini bods ready! Weeknights we eat dinner together then played boardgames. Some games I haven't played in years! It reminds me of growing up in Nu'uuli and on stormy days we would play board games or read. I feel as if the world is slowing us down. Making us see what we've been missing.
Then, that same world gave us a rude awakening last Tuesday morning in Utah with a 5.7 magnitude earthquake. It was truly a wake up call as we were all sleeping. For folks in California and other places in the world where earthquakes are common, you can laugh all you want. It really freaked us out. I haven't felt anything that strong for as long as I can remember. We've been experiencing after shocks every day, the heavier ones always seem to happen when I'm trying to take a nap. It's nerve wracking. All you can do is prepare and have a plan. And pray. Oh yes. That's what I've been doing all week. Cuz I'm scared. I have to stay strong for my girls, but I'm struggling with that. All I want to do is find a corner and cry.
This is definitely a 50th year to remember! I thought being quarantined at home, I could maybe get some writing done. Right now that's not happening. My brain is too rattled and sleep deprived to even think about anything else except taking a nap. Here's to everyone staying safe and healthy! Please don't hoard toilet paper, wash your hands, air and virtually hug your people. Those useless physical things you're worried about? Those are nothing compared to the safety and well-being of your family. Reset your priorities. What can be accomplished during this time of lock down? The plan is to organize our home, our thoughts, our mindset. When we come out of this craziness, we'll know what is important and what's not. Take this time to enjoy each other's company. Get to know your family and friends. As an introvert, I prefer contact like commenting on social media or messaging people or sending texts. I'm not much of a talker. Anyway you feel is comfortable for you to say hello and have contact, do it. Within the confines of social distancing, of course. Be safe, ya'll. Stay healthy. Be kind. It's not that difficult. And for goodness sake, stop hoarding, especially toilet paper. Cheers to almost 50 years! One and a half months and counting!
Painting using fancy watercolors. Time well spent.
Over 200 aftershocks since the 5.7 earthquake on March 17, 2020
Monday, March 2, 2020
It's a Fizzle Time of the Year
Do you ever have those days where you completely lack focus and motivation? I'm having more than just one day of it. Unfortunately. I'm burnt out. I'm tired. I have a few other things I wish I could be doing instead of what I'm supposed to do.
I wish I was on a warm, tropical beach with my toes in the sand, just staring out into the ocean. Listening to the sounds of the waves washing up against the shore. Birds talking to each other in the sky. The wind blowing. Tasting and smelling the salt in the air. Feeling utterly relaxed and content. It's in my blood. It's who I am. Warmth. Peace.
I wish I was working on my personal passion project for my Westside Leadership Institute class. I still need to catch up and write out my plans. And create something I can present to a school to start a literacy project. Because that sounds WAY more fun that what I'm supposed to be doing at work. Encouraging young minds to read? Yes, please!
I wish my anxiety would calm the hell down. My heart flutters have gotten worse these last few months. No bueno! I seriously need to get the heck out of Dodge! And get the heck somewhere warmer. I think I mentioned warmer before. Because I'm tired of being cold. And running my heater at work. And dressing in layers.
My 50-year celebration is starting to fizzle a little. Or maybe it's the calm before the party storm. Yeah, let's look at it that way. I'm just tired of people with higher degrees who have zero common sense. People who give impressionable young minds wrong information so these young college folks stress out about nothing, simply because the professor likes to talk out of his ass. Sorry, left field rant, coming right up!
Maybe I shouldn't be working right now. You know, back home people take a long break in between breakfast and lunch because it's too hot to work outside. As the aunties would say, "Le la!" Or in South American countries, it's called Siesta. I'm assuming my blog writing will now count as my siesta from work. Back at it, I must go.
I wish I was on a warm, tropical beach with my toes in the sand, just staring out into the ocean. Listening to the sounds of the waves washing up against the shore. Birds talking to each other in the sky. The wind blowing. Tasting and smelling the salt in the air. Feeling utterly relaxed and content. It's in my blood. It's who I am. Warmth. Peace.
I wish I was working on my personal passion project for my Westside Leadership Institute class. I still need to catch up and write out my plans. And create something I can present to a school to start a literacy project. Because that sounds WAY more fun that what I'm supposed to be doing at work. Encouraging young minds to read? Yes, please!
I wish my anxiety would calm the hell down. My heart flutters have gotten worse these last few months. No bueno! I seriously need to get the heck out of Dodge! And get the heck somewhere warmer. I think I mentioned warmer before. Because I'm tired of being cold. And running my heater at work. And dressing in layers.
My 50-year celebration is starting to fizzle a little. Or maybe it's the calm before the party storm. Yeah, let's look at it that way. I'm just tired of people with higher degrees who have zero common sense. People who give impressionable young minds wrong information so these young college folks stress out about nothing, simply because the professor likes to talk out of his ass. Sorry, left field rant, coming right up!
Maybe I shouldn't be working right now. You know, back home people take a long break in between breakfast and lunch because it's too hot to work outside. As the aunties would say, "Le la!" Or in South American countries, it's called Siesta. I'm assuming my blog writing will now count as my siesta from work. Back at it, I must go.
Just an image of where I should be right now...
Wednesday, January 22, 2020
Heading into 50
As of January 1, 2020, I will be in the year of my 50th birthday. I decided to document this year. It's a milestone. Half a century old. The big 5-0. Approaching a new stage in life. I've also decided I'm celebrating all year long. Not just on the day I was born. This is MY year!
You know when people ask you where you see yourself at certain ages? Especially when you're in high school? There were people who knew or had goals. I had nothing. My future vision was completely blank. I thought I had no direction and was genuinely worried. In hindsight, it has been quite a ride. I could equate it to being an author. A blank sheet of paper, so to speak. Instead of the words already written down for me, I wrote them myself. I chose what my story would look like and I'm still writing, filling those pages with adventures.
I've started my community leadership class and even though we've only had two class sessions, I am hooked! I come home excited and I have a hard time falling asleep because I'm thinking of what we talked about, the projects we've discussed, and everything in between. We have a dynamic group of people, an large age span that works well together, and so many amazing ideas. And all focused on our Pasifika community here in Utah.
My goal of eating healthier is going well. I have to eat a fresh serving of veggies (on rare occasions fruits) for lunch and dinner every day. So far so good. My exercise regiment is consistent, even when my back went out on me this week. And I've cut down on social media. Not bad. A great start to the great year of 50!
What about my stories? The one goal I'm struggling with in week three of January. When I sit down to write, I draw a blank. I have a few stories I've started but no motivation to move forward with them, even though deep down inside I really want to get writing again. Not sure where the blockage is coming from. I've been reading a lot more lately, hoping it will help and maybe inspire me. Or at least it's been a great distraction from the frustration of not writing.
I've been doing some genealogy work, looking back on some things my mom researched, reading through the fa'alupega of Samoa written by Kramer, and discovering interesting facts about my family. This is all leading up to something wonderful that I can't wait to share with you in March/April.
Speaking of genealogy, when I was pregnant with my youngest daughter, the ultrasound showed a sack of fluids on the back of her neck. The diagnosis was scary. She could come out and possibly be down syndrome, have growth issues and have to take hormone medication for the rest of her life, or come out normal. When meeting with a specialist, one of the questions she asked was whether my husband and I were related. Ew. No, I answered emphatically. Then I backed up and said, "Well, not that we know of." Good news, my daughter came out just fine. She's a diva but I don't think that's from the diagnosis, just her namesake. The genealogy, on the other hand, could have found the connection. It's from a very long time ago but there is a possibility my husband and I are related. It comes from the Tu'itonga line before Queen Salamasina. My husband thinks it's hilarious. Cue my huge eye roll. My comeback is that I outrank him and that's more important on the Tongan side. Boo ya! It's amazing the stories you can find when digging a little deeper into the past. I was hoping to find something to help me write some stories but instead, I found an understanding and love of familial lines.
Wish me luck with my investigating! I should have been a lawyer...
You know when people ask you where you see yourself at certain ages? Especially when you're in high school? There were people who knew or had goals. I had nothing. My future vision was completely blank. I thought I had no direction and was genuinely worried. In hindsight, it has been quite a ride. I could equate it to being an author. A blank sheet of paper, so to speak. Instead of the words already written down for me, I wrote them myself. I chose what my story would look like and I'm still writing, filling those pages with adventures.
I've started my community leadership class and even though we've only had two class sessions, I am hooked! I come home excited and I have a hard time falling asleep because I'm thinking of what we talked about, the projects we've discussed, and everything in between. We have a dynamic group of people, an large age span that works well together, and so many amazing ideas. And all focused on our Pasifika community here in Utah.
My goal of eating healthier is going well. I have to eat a fresh serving of veggies (on rare occasions fruits) for lunch and dinner every day. So far so good. My exercise regiment is consistent, even when my back went out on me this week. And I've cut down on social media. Not bad. A great start to the great year of 50!
What about my stories? The one goal I'm struggling with in week three of January. When I sit down to write, I draw a blank. I have a few stories I've started but no motivation to move forward with them, even though deep down inside I really want to get writing again. Not sure where the blockage is coming from. I've been reading a lot more lately, hoping it will help and maybe inspire me. Or at least it's been a great distraction from the frustration of not writing.
I've been doing some genealogy work, looking back on some things my mom researched, reading through the fa'alupega of Samoa written by Kramer, and discovering interesting facts about my family. This is all leading up to something wonderful that I can't wait to share with you in March/April.
Speaking of genealogy, when I was pregnant with my youngest daughter, the ultrasound showed a sack of fluids on the back of her neck. The diagnosis was scary. She could come out and possibly be down syndrome, have growth issues and have to take hormone medication for the rest of her life, or come out normal. When meeting with a specialist, one of the questions she asked was whether my husband and I were related. Ew. No, I answered emphatically. Then I backed up and said, "Well, not that we know of." Good news, my daughter came out just fine. She's a diva but I don't think that's from the diagnosis, just her namesake. The genealogy, on the other hand, could have found the connection. It's from a very long time ago but there is a possibility my husband and I are related. It comes from the Tu'itonga line before Queen Salamasina. My husband thinks it's hilarious. Cue my huge eye roll. My comeback is that I outrank him and that's more important on the Tongan side. Boo ya! It's amazing the stories you can find when digging a little deeper into the past. I was hoping to find something to help me write some stories but instead, I found an understanding and love of familial lines.
Wish me luck with my investigating! I should have been a lawyer...
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Musings from the Last Decade
At this point in my life, I can barely remember what I did last week let alone ten years ago. So, to Facebook I went to review my timeline from 2010 until now. I noticed a few things. I posted A LOT back then. Maybe I felt I had to update everyone, several times a week, about what was going on in my life. Like what I was cooking that day, people who got on my nerves, hints about things happening to me. The last few years, I have chosen to embrace the quiet. Does this mean I've become more of a social media stalker? Probably. But many of my thoughts I have saved for myself, or I've added them to my stories. Wow. Ten years has flown by and so many things have happened. There were definitely some very difficult times that tested my patience, my marriage, my sanity. We had three high school graduations that resulted in three daughters currently in college. One daughter going on a church mission for eighteen months in New York City. Watching my dad fight ALS and losing him in 2017. Beginning a new career in higher education towards the end of 2010 and still going strong. One of the best decisions of my life. Self publishing five books, three available on Amazon. This year I turn 50 years old. And I've decided to celebrate the entire year. Because I can. I will be half a century old. And I'm okay with it. There are plans for physical improvement, including more exercising and better eating choices. Communication is slowly improving with my husband and I'm excited to see how this will flourish. We are not the same people we were when we got married, but we're becoming better. That's how marriages work. I'm taking a community leadership course starting in January. Now that my girls are older, and help out a lot more around the house, I have time to participate in community work. I want to start and end the year with a bang with a whole lot of fireworks in between! So, get ready folks! I'll be updating everyone throughout this year, taking you on this journey of mine. Be prepared for more blog posts and some big things happening in 2020! Happy New Year, ya'll!
Friday, September 13, 2019
Emerging Pasifika Writers (and crushed future dreams)
A fellow author posted this position on Facebook and I thought, "You know, I could totally do this. Maybe not this year, but in a few years. When my youngest finishes high school. Five years to be exact." Excitedly, I started to think about the possibilities, how I would take a leave of absence from work, how my three oldest would already have their Bachelor's degrees (at least) and on their own, how I could leave the house in their capable hands while I flit off to New Zealand to write my heart out for three months AND get paid for it. Then reality slapped me in the face with its ugly, ring-laden hand. Right square in the eyepolos. I read the fine print. Where it says you have to be a New Zealand citizen or hold permanent residency. Um, yeah. Strike one and only. Of course all of my justifications for NOT applying came back as, "Yeah, I couldn't make it work anyway. Well, who knows if they will offer this in five years when I could MAYBE try to apply. Eh, just write on your own and keep self publishing." I applaud New Zealand and its ever forward-moving thinking and initiatives that support Pasifika peoples. How do we start something like this here in the USA?
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