Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Attack of Idea Monster

Do most of your GREAT ideas come during the night when you're fast asleep or in your dreams?  And instead of waking up (at whatever ungodly hour) and writing down those thoughts, you let them simmer and say, "I'll write it down in the morning"?  By morning, those thoughts have vanished into the misty, dream world from whence they came and can only be revisited (sometimes NOT) during that dream state?  As a writer, it's frustrating when I try to re-think, re-dream, re-vitalize to re-create those amazing thoughts I had the night before.

I need to invent a machine that captures my dream/sleep thoughts and write it down before the Idea Monster gobbles them up!

I dream of great story ideas that our Polynesian youth/children can identify with such as living in a new space, moving from the islands to the U.S., incorporating Polynesian legends into modern stories... 
I dream of characters like Uncle Lua who helps his niece adapt to island life.  Or Sela who is afakasi growing up in the islands and struggling with her identity.  Or Big Bad Chief Lino who is harsh on the outside but a teddy bear/protector on the inside...
I dream of places like my island home, the beaches, the breeze, the smell of flowers after it rains, the hard streets of Los Angeles or Rose Park (Utah), the clustering of Polynesians, the mixture of Polynesian by neighborhood or marriage...
I dream of feelings like crying on my grandma's grave when visiting home after being away for twelve years, the safety of that grave and knowing my ancestors are watching over me no matter where I live, the deep love I have for my culture/family/homeland, the sadness I feel when people stop caring, the happiness in a child's smile, the heartbreak of a love lost, the healing after a painful hurt...
I dream in color, black and white, I dream in other languages, well, mostly English or Samoan.  Man, my Samoan is JAMMIN' in my dreams. When I awake, I can't speak it
to save my life.  But I smile...
I dream of happy times where I wake up laughing and feeling content with life.  I dream of scary times where I wake up and walk around the house checking to see if everyone is safe.  I dream of sad times where I wake up and my pillow is wet from the tears I shed.  I dream of being in Utah yet being in American Samoa at the same time.  My current life and old life colliding into a wonderful, connected piece of my life's puzzle.
I dream and I awake with bits and pieces of what could be a great story.  But alas, the Idea Monster must be fed and unfortunately, he feeds on my dreams!

Monday, June 17, 2013

I Suck At Blogging

Top Ten Reasons Why I Suck at Blogging:
10.  I work a full time job and have four children to raise, some who are now teenagers so I REALLY need to be around and involved.

9.  I like to sleep and unfortunately, my creative writing juices don't start flowing until late into the night.  By that time I'm sleeping because I have to go to that full time job I mentioned above.  And I have to actually be coherent at work AND at home.  My brain does not function well on 2 hours of sleep.  Which doesn't work when you have to solve problems, help with other people's writing, assist with homework, and figure out the complicated task of what to cook for dinner.

8.  I can't blog at work.  Not that I can't, but I don't have the time between seeing students, case management, and planning events.  I don't have that quiet, uninterrupted time to really think of something witty, provocative, insightful, or magical to blog about.  Like this list...

7.  My brain is fried.  By the end of the day, all day, every day, my brain ceases to function and becomes a vegetable.  It can only process mindless television shows that require very little thought, or it can only eek out something in the personal journal entry (usually a paragraph with a list of "This is what happened today"), or it can read a book that doesn't take a lot of effort (definitely not a Game of Thrones reading time).

6.  I was introduced to this game on my phone called "Words With Friends" and I've been obsessed with beating everyone on my playlist ever since.  So whenever I check my phone for something, out pops a new challenge and I just HAVE to play my turn. 

5.  I have these life forms called children, in particular a 7-year-old, who can sense when I'm not around.  Like now.  It's 2:45am and she woke up and couldn't find me.  So my thought process was interrupted because I had to let her know I was downstairs.  Writing.  Or trying to write.  So no matter what time of the day or night, I can't seem to find time to write.  Or blog.  Or even think.

4.  I'm an introvert.  I have no problems speaking to people and carrying a conversation but in the end, I need quiet time.  Writing takes some thought so it gets put on the back burner.  Because I'm trying not to have a melt down.  Or get the shakes.  If you're an introvert, you know what I'm talking about. 

3.  I get distracted easily.  Like when I'm thinking of all of the laundry that needs to be washed.  Or wondering if anyone has eaten and should I cook something.  Or thinking about the kids' rooms and how I need to sort through the mess.

2.  I don't have much to say.  Okay, that's not entirely true.  But some of my thoughts are not appropriate for a blog that my family reads.  Those thoughts are not even logged in my personal journal.  They are just tucked away in the back of my brain to be filed and pulled out when I have the time to sort through them.  If I grow old and still have brain power, I might take that opportunity to share those thoughts.  By then, I'll be old (okay, older than I am now) and won't care.  Because I will have lived my life and can be at liberty to say whatever I want.  I'll pull the old, gray hair lady card.  Yup, that's what I'll do.

1.  And the number one reason I suck at blogging...  with the ten billion things I need to do, something has to give.  And blogging is more like a luxury than a necessity.  I'm not even sure how many people read this nonsense, if any.  So, out of my ten billion things, I may pull back on one of them to put blogging in the forefront.  And write more often.  And maybe my one or two readers will be happy with my random thoughts.  Get a laugh or two.  Have an ah-ha moment.  We'll see...