Author Review: Elizabeth Acevedo

Back in late spring, after covid hit and I had more time on my hands, I decided to look up books written by authors of color. And READ! Thank goodness for the Kindle app and the local library. So far, I have found nothing but amazing writers and stories from around the world. Some uplifting. Some a bit depressing. Some humorous. Some adventurous with an ending that left my mouth hanging open, not sure how to process what I just read. I'll get to that series in another blog. This one, however, is dedicated to an author who was introduced to me during a writing/book club zoom meeting. I had just read Pachinko by Min Jin Lee and shared my thoughts on the tumultuous relationships between the Japanese and Koreans before and during World War II. I compared it to Samoans and Tongans, and the many times I was told we don't get along. Funny, I'm Samoan married to a Tongan. Hm...

When I was first introduced to Elizabeth Acevedo, an absolute GENIUS, it was with her book "With the Fire on High." She talks about being a boricua, someone of Puerto Rican descent, combined with her African roots. An Afro-Latina. Her way of blending the American side using the New York streets as her background and the rich cultural nuances of family members create a story for all ages. I can relate to the older folks in the story who grew up in the islands and migrated to the United States. I know my children can relate to the story of someone who has ties to the islands through her family, but is still trying to navigate a system on her own. Of course, the details about food and family traditions made this book all the more relatable. Then, to my pleasant surprise, I found more books by Ms. Acevedo! "Poet X" and "Clap When You Land" are written in poetry form to tell the story. And oh what stories they behold! She continues to blend the Latina and African roots into stories of freedom, self advocacy, reflection, and understanding. If I had to choose a favorite, I would have to say it's "Poet X." It's a reminder of my youngest daughter, who loves poetry and spoken word, and how we are trying to bridge that gap between the old and the new. How we, as people of color, want our stories to be a part of the narrative, the Poetry Out Loud choices, the school curriculum, the classroom conversations. If this is the future of what will be taught in schools, I am in full support. 

You can find more information about Elizabeth Acevedo on her website: http://www.acevedowrites.com/

A Samoan Greeting

"Talofa, o a'u o..."

Standing in front of the class, I struggle to still my shaking hands. I remind myself that I know this language. It is the language of home. I've pronounced these words all my life, maybe not as confidently as I would like, but this is who I am. Breathe, I tell myself. Let the words flow through you, like calm ocean water.

"O o'u matua o..."

I think back to my days growing up in American Samoa. We still carry our Nu'uuli pride everywhere we go, my siblings and I. My own daughters have that pride instilled in them, even growing up in Utah. We connect with people based on land. Oh, you're from North Carolina, what part? My mom is from Fuquay Varina. That's how you know a REAL North Carolinian. If they know Fuquay, they are for real. What do you know about Nu'uuli? We are full of pride, strength, and love. Let the words flow through you, like a cooling breeze coming off the mountain.

"Ou te sau mai..."

I've lived in Utah for almost 26 years, and yet my answer is always Nu'uuli, Amerika Samoa. It reaches into the depths of my being and can never be replaced. I am the red 'ie with the three white stripes. I am the fautasi Satani, okay, fine, Manulele Tausala. I am Vaitele born and raised. The land calls to me. Like the Disney movie Moana. Sometimes I dream I'm home. I see pictures and feel a pull to return. One day. Let the words flow through me, like a thundering waterfall after a hard rain.

"Malo lava le soifua. Ia manuia."

The words continue to flow until my simple lauga is complete. I can see Dad smiling, proud of my enunciation. Always speak clearly, even if you aren't sure of the words. Keep practicing. Don't ever stop learning. When I hear others speaking Samoan, my eyes close and I breathe in deeply, as if to inhale the essence of the language. It's beauty. It's smoothness. It's comfort. I yearn for home.

Half A Century... and Beyond

I can officially apply for AARP benefits. 😆

The country and the world are still battling the coronavirus. 😨

I'll probably be working from home until August. 😎

I was voted into a temporary position as the Precinct 1 rep for the Salt Lake City School District Board of Education. 😲

My birthday celebration was exactly what I wanted. Quality time with my girls, food from Myung Ga (sooooo yummy), seeing my family and dropping off Mother's Day gifts. 😍

Extra bonuses included presents I wasn't expecting from loved ones and a drive-by birthday celebration from my mom, siblings, in-laws, niece, and nephews. We really miss each other. 😢

Times are different now. Different doesn't always mean bad. We appreciate our loved ones more. We have time to work on home projects. We are learning and growing. Even though the future is still fuzzy with no timeline of when things will go back to "normal," we're taking advantage of being together. 💚

People around the world are stepping up and speaking out about the inequality marginalized communities have been facing for so many years, especially our black communities. In the United States, folks are voting to have their voices heard in people who can take that voice all the way to Washington D.C. Folks are tired of having their narratives dictated to them and are now pushing back. It is the hope that not only will conversations and educating ourselves continue, but true action and policy change will take place. ❤

I wonder what my guardian angel is doing. I'm pretty sure she's laughing her butt off, drunk most of the time, and saying to the other guardian angels, "Dude, watch this," before sprinkling some more craziness into my life. 😇🍷

I am halfway through my 50th year and so far it's been mostly 💩 storms. I've watched more tv and netflix than I have the past few years. Not sure how I feel about that. How is it possible to need a vacation when you already work from home? And you can't go anywhere? Cuz coronavirus and all. Heavy sigh... stay safe, ya'll. 😩

A Sister and Her Brothers

The bond between a sister and her brothers is strong. And sacred. Whether that brother shares the same parents or the same extended bloodline, the connection is all the same. The brothers are the ones who look out for her, protect her, guide her, support her, cherish her. When her parents have left this world leaving her alone, the brothers carry the responsibility to make sure she's okay for the rest of their lives. It is a burden the brothers should never take lightly. Nor should they ever forget. 

Her mother already gone

She then lost her father

Unexpectedly

Crying, she said she was all alone

But she's not

And we told her she's not

All alone

Look around you

Her brothers declared

You are not alone

We are here

Always

Whatever you need

Whenever you need

Call

We are here

You are not alone.

What I Meant Was

On March 2nd, I wrote about how my 50th year was beginning to fizzle. Things were just blah and nothing exciting was going on. When I said the calm before the party storm, I was thinking something WAY different than what happened after I wrote those words. My 50th year is off to a literally shaky start. Let's review some moments since my last blog entry, shall we? And if my words brought on the craziness, my bad.

The world has been shut down by the COVID-19 pandemic. Today begins week two of working from home as we have been told to shelter in place and self quarantine, I was thinking how awesome it has been to spend more time with my girls. We're all stuck at home, working and getting back to schoolwork. When the weather is nice, we've been going out for lunch time walks with the doggos. We've been cooking dinner and don't have to worry about commuting. We worked out adding an extra routine thinking we're coming out of this with our bikini bods ready! Weeknights we eat dinner together then played boardgames. Some games I haven't played in years! It reminds me of growing up in Nu'uuli and on stormy days we would play board games or read. I feel as if the world is slowing us down. Making us see what we've been missing.

Then, that same world gave us a rude awakening last Tuesday morning in Utah with a 5.7 magnitude earthquake. It was truly a wake up call as we were all sleeping. For folks in California and other places in the world where earthquakes are common, you can laugh all you want. It really freaked us out. I haven't felt anything that strong for as long as I can remember. We've been experiencing after shocks every day, the heavier ones always seem to happen when I'm trying to take a nap. It's nerve wracking. All you can do is prepare and have a plan. And pray. Oh yes. That's what I've been doing all week. Cuz I'm scared. I have to stay strong for my girls, but I'm struggling with that. All I want to do is find a corner and cry.

This is definitely a 50th year to remember! I thought being quarantined at home, I could maybe get some writing done. Right now that's not happening. My brain is too rattled and sleep deprived to even think about anything else except taking a nap. Here's to everyone staying safe and healthy! Please don't hoard toilet paper, wash your hands, air and virtually hug your people. Those useless physical things you're worried about? Those are nothing compared to the safety and well-being of your family. Reset your priorities. What can be accomplished during this time of lock down? The plan is to organize our home, our thoughts, our mindset. When we come out of this craziness, we'll know what is important and what's not. Take this time to enjoy each other's company. Get to know your family and friends. As an introvert, I prefer contact like commenting on social media or messaging people or sending texts. I'm not much of a talker. Anyway you feel is comfortable for you to say hello and have contact, do it. Within the confines of social distancing, of course. Be safe, ya'll. Stay healthy. Be kind. It's not that difficult. And for goodness sake, stop hoarding, especially toilet paper. Cheers to almost 50 years! One and a half months and counting!

Painting using fancy watercolors. Time well spent.

Over 200 aftershocks since the 5.7 earthquake on March 17, 2020

It's a Fizzle Time of the Year

Do you ever have those days where you completely lack focus and motivation? I'm having more than just one day of it. Unfortunately. I'm burnt out. I'm tired. I have a few other things I wish I could be doing instead of what I'm supposed to do.

I wish I was on a warm, tropical beach with my toes in the sand, just staring out into the ocean. Listening to the sounds of the waves washing up against the shore. Birds talking to each other in the sky. The wind blowing. Tasting and smelling the salt in the air. Feeling utterly relaxed and content. It's in my blood. It's who I am. Warmth. Peace.

I wish I was working on my personal passion project for my Westside Leadership Institute class. I still need to catch up and write out my plans. And create something I can present to a school to start a literacy project. Because that sounds WAY more fun that what I'm supposed to be doing at work. Encouraging young minds to read? Yes, please!

I wish my anxiety would calm the hell down. My heart flutters have gotten worse these last few months. No bueno! I seriously need to get the heck out of Dodge! And get the heck somewhere warmer. I think I mentioned warmer before. Because I'm tired of being cold. And running my heater at work. And dressing in layers.

My 50-year celebration is starting to fizzle a little. Or maybe it's the calm before the party storm. Yeah, let's look at it that way. I'm just tired of people with higher degrees who have zero common sense. People who give impressionable young minds wrong information so these young college folks stress out about nothing, simply because the professor likes to talk out of his ass. Sorry, left field rant, coming right up!

Maybe I shouldn't be working right now. You know, back home people take a long break in between breakfast and lunch because it's too hot to work outside. As the aunties would say, "Le la!" Or in South American countries, it's called Siesta. I'm assuming my blog writing will now count as my siesta from work. Back at it, I must go.

Just an image of where I should be right now...

Heading into 50

As of January 1, 2020, I will be in the year of my 50th birthday. I decided to document this year. It's a milestone. Half a century old. The big 5-0. Approaching a new stage in life. I've also decided I'm celebrating all year long. Not just on the day I was born. This is MY year!

You know when people ask you where you see yourself at certain ages? Especially when you're in high school? There were people who knew or had goals. I had nothing. My future vision was completely blank. I thought I had no direction and was genuinely worried. In hindsight, it has been quite a ride. I could equate it to being an author. A blank sheet of paper, so to speak. Instead of the words already written down for me, I wrote them myself. I chose what my story would look like and I'm still writing, filling those pages with adventures.

I've started my community leadership class and even though we've only had two class sessions, I am hooked! I come home excited and I have a hard time falling asleep because I'm thinking of what we talked about, the projects we've discussed, and everything in between. We have a dynamic group of people, an large age span that works well together, and so many amazing ideas. And all focused on our Pasifika community here in Utah.

My goal of eating healthier is going well. I have to eat a fresh serving of veggies (on rare occasions fruits) for lunch and dinner every day. So far so good. My exercise regiment is consistent, even when my back went out on me this week. And I've cut down on social media. Not bad. A great start to the great year of 50!

What about my stories? The one goal I'm struggling with in week three of January. When I sit down to write, I draw a blank. I have a few stories I've started but no motivation to move forward with them, even though deep down inside I really want to get writing again. Not sure where the blockage is coming from. I've been reading a lot more lately, hoping it will help and maybe inspire me. Or at least it's been a great distraction from the frustration of not writing.

I've been doing some genealogy work, looking back on some things my mom researched, reading through the fa'alupega of Samoa written by Kramer, and discovering interesting facts about my family. This is all leading up to something wonderful that I can't wait to share with you in March/April.

Speaking of genealogy, when I was pregnant with my youngest daughter, the ultrasound showed a sack of fluids on the back of her neck. The diagnosis was scary. She could come out and possibly be down syndrome, have growth issues and have to take hormone medication for the rest of her life, or come out normal. When meeting with a specialist, one of the questions she asked was whether my husband and I were related. Ew. No, I answered emphatically. Then I backed up and said, "Well, not that we know of." Good news, my daughter came out just fine. She's a diva but I don't think that's from the diagnosis, just her namesake. The genealogy, on the other hand, could have found the connection. It's from a very long time ago but there is a possibility my husband and I are related. It comes from the Tu'itonga line before Queen Salamasina. My husband thinks it's hilarious. Cue my huge eye roll. My comeback is that I outrank him and that's more important on the Tongan side. Boo ya! It's amazing the stories you can find when digging a little deeper into the past. I was hoping to find something to help me write some stories but instead, I found an understanding and love of familial lines.

Wish me luck with my investigating! I should have been a lawyer...