Working Mom

I was offered a full time position with an educational software/training company yesterday. You think I would be jumping for joy since I've been out of work since August. You think I'd be doing cartwheels because they offered me a salary above the 'asking price' because of my education and experience. I should be happy because we can pay off our bills faster and be more comfortable. But I'm not bouncing off the walls, or performing some random cheerleader move, or screaming CHOO HOO at the top of my lungs. I'm pondering this moment and going over the pros and cons in my head. Of course, I have accepted the position. What else can I do? But my mind bounces from...
paying bills and having extra money for a weekend McDs run with the kids,
to not having a lot of time to bake fresh bread for the kids when they get home from school,
to being able to do some decent Christmas shopping and not feeling bad because we weren't able to really get nice things for the kids,
to not being able to drop off the kids or have time to go on a class field trip as a chaperone,...
The HUGE factor that is keeping me semi-calm in all of this tennis court drama in my head is the fact that my little sister is going to handle picking up the kids from school. As a Samoan, I don't believe in daycare, unless it's run by a family member. Family's are there to help each other out and if I can make some money and give some to my sister, we all win! She certainly doesn't expect the money but I would like to give it to her just the same. Win-win situation! Now, my brain can settle down, start planning activities and menu's, and go back to being a double-full-time working mom... with peace of mind.

Counting Heads

As we drove up to Brigham City today, we kept counting heads to make sure we had all of the children with us. Unfortunately, not all of them could come so we kept feeling like we were missing someone. With my oldest daughter in California visiting her grandpa and grandma, having tons of fun, and lightening grandpa's wallet by shopping til she drops, it was a day full of second looks and LOTS of counting. It's funny how things change when your eldest child is gone, even for a short weekend. Everything in the house seems to change. The other three were in charge of cleaning the house and did well, they took forever, but accomplished their goal. Is this a preview of how things will be when the kids start to go to college? Grandpa took her to tour the campus at Stanford University... I don't mind Stanford but the cost, WOW! If grandpa is going to show her the campus and get her interested, he better be setting up that savings account to help pay the tuition! As parents we have our children, love them like no other, and wait for the day when they are out of the house and there is peace and quiet. I don't think I'm going to be the parent that enjoys that setting. I love the noise. I love my kids when they play Scene It, or Scrabble, or wrestle in the living room... I love a little peace and quiet but not too much. It was hard enough to send my daughter out to her grandparents for the weekend. What extent of "basket case" will I be if she actually goes away for college? And will I continue to count heads because I always have a feeling that we're missing someone?